Different versions of the same recurring dreams. Dreams I spend the entire dream proving it's not a dream. Then it's a dream. So every night I sacrifice bits of my sanity in exchange for not questioning my "happiness". I "lean in", I accept. Then I wake up and I cry.
She's not real. My happiness is not real. My FUCKING HAIR is not real. And how much of a mess am I that I'm just as upset about not really finding the love of my life, as I am that my long beautiful wavy purple hair I dreamed about was not growing from my head when I woke up? I cried.
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