Thursday, June 27, 2019

I know

I know. I've missed two updates, according to the schedule that I myself created. 

The smart thing would have probably been not to point out how well I was feeling last week, because things fell apart less than 12 hours later. I got disheartening news that I'm still trying to deal with, and things spiraled a bit after that. 

When I know my daughter can't hear, I cry a little. I try to think of anyone I know who'd maybe have input on my situation, but I'm drawing blanks. 

To be clear:
  • I do not have cancer
  • I am not HIV+
I have a support system, but the last thing I want to hear is "I'm here for you" from someone who doesn't know anything about how I currently feel. I also hope that if anyone actually reads this they'll understand that I'm probably making more of this than its worth.

But what I do know is that this likely isn't temporary. And I'm scared to death.

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